At first I wanted to portray Sherlock as a charming, jovial individual with an earnest, empathic concern for humanity at all times. But then I was like, “aw fuck it.
– Benedict Cumberbatch in an interview with the Sunday Telegraphitti (via sherlocksupportgroup)
(via cathalins)
The Blind Banker: A Summary
- Dogged Nice Guy: radiating unrequited love
- Soo Lin: Please stop standing outside my flat at midnight with a boombox. The neighbours complain.
- ~LATER TIME~
- Soo Lin: packing up
- OMINOUS RUSTLING
- Statue: boo you whore
- Soo Lin: MOTHER OF GOD
- -THEME MUSIC BREAKING IT DOWN-
- John: I gon buy me some lettuce
- Checkout: lolno
- -221B-
- Sherlock casually having a late morning near death experience with an armed assailant in his own flat
- -SHOPS-
- John: work, you box of crap
- Checkout: hell nah bitch no lettuce for you
- John: WHORE OF A THING fuck this I'm out keep the fucking lettuce
- Checkout: VICTORY FOR MY PEOPLE
- -BACK AT HOME-
- John: honey I'm home
- Sherlock: oh hello John I was just reading this book hmm yes where are the groceries
- John: fucken chip and pin machines
- Sherlock: ... I see.
- John: listen Sherlock this is really out of character for me which shows kind of how desperate I am but if you could lend me a couple of fivers -
- Sherlock: let's go to the bank
- John: that was quick
- -BANK-
- Sebastian: Hi, I'm a douchebag
- Sherlock: This is my -
- John: I'M NOT HIS BOYFRIEND
- Sebastian: Yeah lol no one would want to be his boyfriend
- Sebastian: We all hated him in uni
- Sebastian: ahaha what a freak right
- Sherlock:
- Sebastian: so buddy help me out here
- -cctv time-
- Sebastian: weird as fuck right
- Sherlock: dancing
- John: at least I get money woah there are a lot of zeroes there
- -VAN COON'S APARTMENT-
- Sherlock: HAY GURL HAY SO LOL I LEFT MY KEYS IN MY FLAT COULD YOUR GORGEOUS SELF BUZZ ME UP
- Woman: sounds legit
- Sherlock: invetigation in progress
- John: let me in, you dick
- Sherlock: Ooh, a dead body! I CALL IT
- -CALL IN THE POLICE-
- Dimmock: Lestrade was eating a bagel so they sent me instead
- Sherlock: what
- Dimmock: -authoritative glare-
- Sherlock: who does this bitch think he is
- Dimmock: obviously this is a suicide
- Sherlock: Obviously you're an idiot
- Dimmock: what
- Sherlock: more dancing
- John: I have no explanation or apology for my friend's behaviour
- -CLASSY RESTAURANT-
- Sebastian: you just ruined the punchline of my Japanese golfer joke
- Sherlock: Seb a guy just got killed
- Sebastian: searching for a fuck to give
- John: what a wanker
- -GETTING A JOB AND A GIRL AT THE SAME TIME BECAUSE I'M JOHN WATSON-
- Sarah: giggling and twisting my hair round my finger
- John: boooobbs
- -221B-
- Sherlock: WHERE WERE YOU
- John: ...out
- Sherlock: I NEEDED A PEN
- Sherlock: "SHE" WHO IS "SHE"
- Sherlock: IS THAT WOMAN I SMELL ON YOU
- -POLICE STATION-
- Dimmock: no way is voldemort back
- Sherlock: are you shitting me how dumb are you
- John: listen up you dumb fuck people are getting murdered
- Dimmock: pics or it didn't happen
- -INVESTIGATING-
- Sherlock: codes library advice
- Happy-slapping hoodie with ASBOS and ringtones: nope. SHIT COPS
- John: wait what
- cops: caught you bitch
- -LATER-
- John: sherlock you are the worst friend ever
- Sherlock: shush John I'm thinking about murder
- John: verbal keysmash of rage
- Sherlock: that's cute now come and help me with shit
- -more investigating-
- YOU WANT LUCKY CAT? TEN POUN' ONLY TEN POUN' VERY CHEEAAAP
- Sherlock: smugglers
- John: I need food
- Sherlock: dancing around a flat
- John: HEY I'M SHERLOCK HOLMES AND I'M A MASSIVE DICKHEAD
- Assailant: ninja attack
- Sherlock: choking - not breathing
- John: OH MY GOD SHERLOCK YOU ARE SUCH A DOUCHEBAG
- -TRAIN TRACKS-
- John: SHERLOCK I FOUND CODES shit where did they go
- Sherlock: DANCE WITH ME
- John: sherlock this has to stop -
- Sherlock: IT'S FOR SCIENCE
- John: sherlock if we danced together it would be gay, they'd never make that canon, I mean dancing in a ballroom in formal gear in the middle of a case and in plain sight of everyone else, that would NEVER HAPPEN
- -MUSEUM-
- Soo Lin: suttering heavy accented speech about smuggling rings and codes in books
- NOISE OUTSIDE WHICH INDICATES SOMEONE IS GOING TO DIE IN THIS SCENE
- Sherlock: RUNNING
- John: Sherlock get your arse back here
- Soo Lin: dead
- Sherlock: ok we need books
- -BOOKS-
- John: I need sleep oh fuck work
- Sarah: that was unprofessional
- John: I'll make it up to you with a date
- Sarah: SURE
- -221B-
- John: I have a date!
- Sherlock: I didn't know we were going out tonight
- John: no Sherlock just
- John: no
- -CIRCUS-
- Sherlock: Hello I'm John's other sexual partner
- Sarah: what
- Sherlock: I meant flatmate. Flatmate is the thing I meant.
- John: sherlock please just fuck off and let me get sex
- CHINESE SPEAR TRICKERY
- Sherlock: snooping around backstage
- NINJA ATTACK
- Sarah: BEATS THAT GUY THE FUCK UP WITH MOTHERFUCKING LEAD PIPING
- -221b-
- Sarah: I'm hungry
- John: me too
- Sherlock: I COULD BE HUNGRY IF I WANTED TO BE
- Sarah: what's this?
- Sherlock: I COULD HAVE BOOBS IF I WANTED
- Sarah: just pointing out something that Sherlock Holmes didn't notice
- sherlock:
- Sherlock: bitch
- Chinese man: KIDNAPPING
- Sherlock: JOOOOOHHHHNNNNN
- -TUNNEL-
- General: GIVE US THE PIN MOTHERFUCKER
- John: what
- General: YES SHERLOCK HOLMES WE HAVE YOU NOWWW
- John: what
- General: FINE WE'LL JUST KILL YOUR GIRLFRIEND
- John: WHAT
- Sherlock: sup bitches
- INTENSE FIGHTING AND NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE
- Sarah: crying
- John: I promise I'll pay for the therapy
- -domestic breakfast at 221B-
- Sherlock: jade pin smuggling ring
- John: foooood
- -ELSEWHERE-
- General: sorry I fucked up
- Mysterious antagonist: that's sweet but I'm still killing you. SEB, GET ON IT
I know this is an old video, but at 1:47, Hank and John talk about Sherlock!!!! EEEEEEE!!!
I would like to talk about the second season of Sherlock, but there is still no legal way for me to see it here in the United States, so instead I’m having it slowly spoiled for me by tumblr fan art. Death by a thousand homoerotic watercolors.
#death by a thousand homoerotic watercolors #is definitely my new descriptive phrase #for sherlock fandom #also these are the best brothers #in the world #except for my brother #because he is also awesome
On set Martin [Freeman] kept saying, ‘Oh yeah, you went to fucking Hogwarts, didn’t you?’.
–
Benedict Cumberbatch, talking about his boarding school education. (via theconsultingfangirl)
Harrow- AKA Hogwarts.
(via sherlocksscarfandjohnsjumper)
OMG it all makes sense now. He’s a WIZARD.
Sherlock being bitchy about John’s blog.
(Source: irene-adlerr, via adelate)
(x)
A Study in Pink: a Humorous Summary
- SUDDENLY GUNS
- Viewers: fuck where did that come from -
- John: nightmares oh god
- John:
- John:
- John: I fucking hate my life.
- Therapist: Have you been writing in your therupatic diary like I told you to?
- John: MY EYES AREN'T GLISTENING WITH THE GHOST OF MY PAST
- Mike: hey gurl hey
- John: shitit'sthatguydon'tmakeeyecontact
- Mike: HEY GURL HEY
- John: Ohhh hi didn't see you there -
- Mike: LOL GURL SO HOW U BIN, HOW'S LIFE?
- John: I'm thirty-five, single, unemployed, skint, and I've got anxiety problems of some description and a limp.
- Mike: GURL THAT'S SO RAVEN
- John: what
- Mike: what
- John:
- Mike: let me hook you up, man
- ~MEANWHILE~
- Sherlock: I love the smell of dead bodies in the morning
- Molly: I love your face
- Sherlock: Yes, thank you, I would like you to serve me some coffee, how thoughtful
- Molly:
- Molly: ok.
- ~UPSTAIRS~
- John: What are these new fang-dangly things they didn't have them in my day
- Mike: that's a computer, John
- Sherlock: Mike give me your phone
- Mike: Do you know how at wildlife parks and stuff they don't let you feed the animals partly so that the animals don't get reliant on being fed by humans and then stop foraging for their own food?
- Sherlock:
- John: use mine.
- Mike: This is John Watson. havethesexwithhim.
- John and Sherlock: what
- Mike: what
- Sherlock: -text it- Afghanistan or Iraq?
- John: the fuck -
- Sherlock: smoothly interrupting you to casually accept fangirl-made coffee
- Sherlock: hey molly
- Sherlock: thank you for offering to make me this delicious coffee
- Sherlock: -sips- mnn, tangy
- Sherlock: you look ugly without makeup
- Molly:
- Sherlock: bye
- Molly: ok.
- Sherlock: We should be flatmates
- John: what
- Sherlock: I'll meet you at the flat ok
- John: what
- Sherlock: Goodbye Mr Army Doctor from afghanistan
- Sherlock: say hi to your alcoholic brother for me
- Sherlock: nice psychosomatic limp you got there
- John: WHAT
- Sherlock: Sherlock Holmes, 221b Baker St, exit stage left
- Mike: ain't he so raven
- ~LATER~
- Sherlock: Check out the flat ain't it pretty don't you like it John, you must like it, I can clean up, look I'm cleaning up say you'll live with me say it
- Mrs Hudson: You guys are such a cute couple
- John: what, no
- Lestrade: There's been a murder
- Sherlock: HOORAY
- Sherlock: come and see dead bodies with me, John
- John: I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING BUT I THINK I LIKE IT
- ~CRIME SCENE~
- Sally: freak
- Sherlock: lol you're blowing one of the forensic team
- Anderson: fuk u shercock u dick
- Sherlock: i know you are i said you are but what am i
- Body: pink
- Sherlock: John what's your professional doctor's opinion.
- John: ... yup she's dead.
- Sherlock: DEDUCTING
- John:
- John: amazing brilliant fantastic
- Sherlock: omg relyy
- John: boy u mighty fine
- Lestrade: I'm standing in the room still
- Sherlock: lol you're all idiots I am the only one who sees the truth
- Lestrade and John: what
- Sherlock: laterz
- ~AND THEN~
- Phones: ringing
- security cameras: spinning
- John: the fuck is this
- Mycroft: hey gurl
- John: the fuck are you
- Mycroft: I am suggestively frightening and I'm sherlock's arch enemy, my name begins with M, can you guess who I am
- John: modesty?
- Mycroft: gurl I like you
- Sherlock: URGENT URGENT COME HOME AT ONCE THERE IS AN URGENCY
- ~221B~
- Sherlock: Pass me my phone.
- John: you
- John: you texted me to
- Sherlock: and send a text please k thanks
- John: Fuck you sideways, man
- Sherlock: love you too
- John: what
- Sherlock:
- Sherlock: come to dinner?
- ~ANGELO'S~
- Angelo: you're such a cute gay couple
- John: what, no
- Angelo: So very cute and gay
- John: no, sherlock, say something, tell him we're not gay
- Angelo: I'll get some candles to set the mood to SEXY TIMES
- John: NO DON'T GET CANDLES
- Angelo: YOU'RE GAY
- John: Why do I have an ominous feeling that this is going to happen again? Like reverse deja vu?
- Sherlock: Keep an eye out for murderers 'kay
- John: So er ... got a girlfriend? Or a ... boyfriend?
- Sherlock:
- Sherlock: uh ... John ... look, it's very flattering and all but I'm taken
- John: no -
- Sherlock: My work is a jealous lover
- John: no - what? I don't even want to consider how a relationship with investigating dead bodies works - no, I wasn't - no - I'M NOT GAY!
- Sherlock: right.
- John: right.
- Sherlock: okay then.
- John: yes.
- Sherlock: SUSPECT AT TWO O'CLOCK
- ~ROOFTOP CAR CHASE~
- John: shit that was funny
- Sherlock: I know right
- Lestrade: DRUGS BUST PARTY AT 221B
- Sherlock: THE FUCK IS GOING ON
- John: wait drugs lol what
- Sherlock: ~gaze~
- John: ~gaze~
- Lestrade: THERE ARE PEOPLE STANDING IN THIS ROOM
- Sherlock: DEDUCTING
- Mrs Hudson: TAXI
- Lestrade: MOBILE
- Everyone: NOISE
- Sherlock: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DICKS
- Cabbie: come away with me, in the night
- Sherlock: ok
- ~DRIVING~
- Cabbie: CLEVER SHIT
- Sherlock: BORING
- Cabbie: pick a pill any pill
- Sherlock: CLEVERER SHIT
- Cabbie: pick a pill anyway
- Sherlock: sounds like fun
- Cabbie: SUCKER -
- John: I SAVE YOU
- Cabbie: /dead
- Sherlock: that's so raven
- ~LATER~
- Lestrade: tell me the things
- Sherlock: look at my fucking ugly blanket
- Lestrade: oh jesus
- Sherlock: hai john
- John: hai Sherlock
- Sherlock: you saved me
- John: for a minute there I thought my princess was in another castle
- Sherlock: what
- John: what
- Mycroft: hey gurl
- Sherlock: fuck off bro
- John: why didn't you tell me he was your brother?
- Sherlock: because he smells
- Mycroft: you're so mean
- Sherlock: lol John let's go get Chinese
- John: ok
- ~BITCHIN SLOW WALK~
- YEEEEAAAAHHHHHH
